Wednesday, May 9, 2012

WILLIAM LYLE {HAYDEN] Stoldt adopted by Step and Mike Hayden

 our song to you sweet william

I need my baby to know how deeply he was loved and, what lead up to me having to give him up. We were in a two year battle with the state for our other two boys who are 14 and 16 we didn't want to give them any reason to take this baby so we made plans for an open adoption. We met the couple they made phone calls to us every day checking on the baby telling us that we would forever get to know and see our baby when we wanted to do so.
         We being a Christian family, we took them at their word. (ON THIS ASSUMPTION), invited these people into to our house. Soon thereafter the couple began helping us pick out clothes for you and even went to the doctor with us,(DUALLY NOTEING THAT THESE BEING MILITARY PEOPLE WOULD ABIDE BY THE AGREEMENT MADE IN THE LAWYER PAPERS THAT WAS DRAWN UP). 
      The day of your birth was coming fast and my labor was a month long event.  I had made the assumption that you had decided that you mentally did not want to leave me, but, wanted to stay with mommy. The doctor set me to go in labor on Jan 10th 2012.This pending time had me in constant tears. Crying, (I KEPT RUBBING MY STOMACH AND SAID SOFTLY PLEASE PLEAS UNDERSTAND I WANTED THE BEST FOR YOU).  All that time I forced myself to retain you in my body, because I knew the pain I was going to suffer from giving you up was probably going to be more then I could bear. The couple was there waiting and my anxiety grew even more when I saw them. My thoughts turned to flight because I knew I was going to have to give you up, but, “see William your brothers needed me also.
    We got to the hospital at 8am on Jan 10th and like clockwork the couple was suggesting” we need to do this “, In their rush to take custody of my child they did not give me any hope that their intentions were a just one” they kept voicing that I should just get it over now.  My mind was in turmoil all I wanted was to, hold and feel my baby in my arms. The doctor hooked me up and gave me a shot in my back, slowly sent me into labor. This couple never gave us space to be alone they were persistent in possessing my child (IF THIS IS THE WAY A MILITARY FAMILY BEHAVES THEN I DO NOT HAVE CONFIDENCE IN OUR MILITARY).
     You were proceeding to the light of day and my tears flowed like a raging river. KNOWING I HAD TO GIVE YOU UP, I was so scared for you, yet I was so happy to see your angelic face emerge. My thoughts turn to when you use to dance and play in mommy's belly. You were so cute and, you looked right at (mommy) while they cleaned you off.
     You were such a cute baby, “everything I knew you would be” because GOD made you. The couple kind of took over after you were born from feeding you to clothing you and we hadn't even signed the papers yet. Mom was very sad about this and thought to myself that I was just being selfish or was I postponing this so I could think about my options. I relayed to the doctors I want to have time with my baby alone at night .The hospital saw the agony in my face and decided to put you in our room after the couple had held you all day.
     When it was just me and you and daddy we tried to give you a lifetime of love in as less hours as we could. You looked at him your daddy and would laugh also when he was changing you squirted on him, it was so funny. He bundled you up nice and tight in your blanket and I held you close to my heart all night telling you how sorry I was and kissing you over and over asking you never to forget me. Your sweet angelic smile gave me a little solace but it was to be short lived.
      The couple took you from the hospital and that was the last time I would see you. The very minute they had you they didn't keep too the open adoption agreement that was clearly stated. The couple broke the agreement on the papers which was legal and binding, (IS THIS THE KIND OF PEOPLE WE WANT IN OUR MILITARY PEOPLE WHOM STOOP TO ALL LOWS TO GET WHAT THEY WANT WITH NO THOUGHT TO OTHERS FEELINGS)
Your Mother went to court to try and fight but they wanted me to come up with 3,000 dollars, which is a lot of money to us in a troubled economy. I kept hoping god will help us get the money to make this right that this couple kept with the agreement to the open adoption.
     Today you are nine months and we haven't seen you once because the couple has blocked us on Facebook to even seeing you grow, (which makes this even more devastating to me) My anger, My pain is deepened for you I have dreams so real I wake in cold sweat tears staining my pillow and pain racking my soul over this one callous act of people whom I trusted.
                   Every night I pray to god to make this right for me but every new dawn my moods grow more sober. I pray now for an appeal to the couple to please abide by the agreement and give me some sort of peace some glimmer of hope that you William are okay and doing well The worst part is it feels like you died and I was denied the satisfaction of letting you know how sad and devastating the moment was to my family because I died that day also.      Connie Stoldt   (DEDICATED TO MY SWEET SON WILLAM PLEASE DO NOT FORGET ME EVER)

 the couple has went out of their way to make sure i never see my son but the other day on facebook after 1000 prayers to god i found a picture of what my son looks like now praise god for